Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated. But if you find yourself constantly needing your partner to validate how great you are, it’s a sign that negative self-talk is taking over.
To combat this, you need to start valuing yourself more. You can do this by practicing gratitude and focusing on your strengths.
1. You’re afraid to be vulnerable
It can be scary to let yourself be vulnerable, especially in a close relationship. But being vulnerable is necessary if you want to feel truly connected to your partner.
When you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable, it can lead to feelings of not being good enough for your partner. If you’re feeling this way, it’s important to address the root cause of your fear of vulnerability.
Oftentimes, your fear of vulnerability stems from something that happened in the past. For example, if your family life was unstable and you never felt like you had a safe and loving home environment, this can have lasting effects on the relationships you create in adulthood.
Try brainstorming about why you’re scared of being vulnerable and then begin to work through those feelings, either on your own or with the help of a professional like a therapist. This will help you get to the bottom of your fears and move forward in your relationship.
2. You’re afraid of being rejected
When you’re afraid of being rejected, it can be difficult to give your partner your full attention. As a result, you may find yourself constantly worrying about whether your partner will leave you or stop loving you.
If your significant other is making you feel unworthy, it’s important to talk about it with them. In a healthy relationship, you should feel emotionally close to your partner and feel like they value you as a person. If they don’t, it’s time to consider walking away from the relationship.
Another sign of insecurity is when you’re unable to communicate with your partner or if they make you feel defensive. People who fear rejection often engage in passive aggressive behavior, such as people-pleasing, over-working, or procrastinating. These behaviors can lead to burnout and resentment in the long run. They also prevent you from expressing your needs and wants to your partner, and they can cause you to assume that your partner knows what you need without being told.
3. You’re afraid of being alone
When you’re afraid of being alone, it often has more to do with your own self-esteem issues than your current relationship. Maybe your physical changes due to aging or illness have knocked your self-confidence, or perhaps you’re worried that you don’t feel good enough for your mate to be happy. Or, it could be that you have a history of being emotionally abandoned in other relationships and you’re projecting this onto your current one.
If you’re consumed by the fear of being alone, this can cause you to throw yourself into every relationship even if it isn’t healthy and may lead to unfulfilling results. Instead, try to spend time focusing on your own happiness by developing strong friendships and networking with people who make you feel valued and supported. This will help you stop worrying that you’re not good enough for your partner.
4. You’re afraid of being judged
When it comes to romantic partners, many people think they’re out of their league. This is called impostor syndrome, and it’s very common. This negative self-talk can lead to a lot of trouble in relationships. It can cause you to put up emotional walls or to rely on things like food, alcohol, porn, or other partners to make you feel good about yourself.
If you feel your partner isn’t giving you the attention you need or that they’re constantly critical of your personality traits or little flaws and quirks, this can be a sign of a controlling relationship. You should know that it’s your responsibility to set boundaries and to protect yourself from unhealthy behavior. If you can’t do this, it may be time to walk away from the relationship. This way, you’ll be able to focus on the other areas of your life that bring you joy. You deserve to be happy! You deserve to be loved.